I feel that rejection is something that everyone must deal with in their lives. As a writer, I can say that it is a constant reminder of how insignificant I am in the world of literature...and as a man, I can say that it is a constant reminder of how insignificant I am.
Let me explain...
I recieved another agent rejection today, and by my count that would be #11 in my quest to become an author, at least for as long as I've taken this seriously. So my question is this: At what point do you just give up? I'm not saying that I'm throwing in the towel completely, because there will never be a point in my life that I stop writing. At the same time, I sometimes wonder what exactly it is that I'm writing for.
The obvious answer is that I'm writing for myself, which is completely true. I can't imagine coming to a point so low that literature can't give me relief, whether it be my own or that of the authors that I truly love. My journal is quite possibly the best therapist I've ever had, which when coupled with my dog is quite a sad statement to admit, but what the hell... At least I can say that I have two things in my life that will never turn their backs on me, and will always make me feel better. How many people can say that?
But, I've digressed...
I can't help but feel that rejection has become such an ingrained part of humanity that we fail to realize what a profound impact it can really have on us. We have been raised to accept rejection on multiple levels to the point that it has become a part of our everyday lives, controlling what we do and how we think of things.
Should I take this other job? (Well, what would our current boss think of it? Will they REJECT our wanting to move on to better things? Or will they ACCEPT the fact that this could make us a better person?)
Such an example is, on a very legitimate level, hard to make. How can I complain of rejection when the other person is simply doing what they believe to be the best for their own livelihood?
...And so goes the continuing battle between the unpublished and the literary agents that they so wish would represent them. On the one hand, I wish that I could just push a few pages into their arrogant faces and say, "Look what you're missing, you ignorant fuck!" But on the other hand, I can't help but respect the fact that they know much more about the book business than I ever will, even if I do become a published author.
So it is with life, I suppose. How can I possibly place judgement on somebody because what they want is not necassarily what I want? How can I consider myself "enlightened" if I just assume that someone is full of negativity? To make those judgments or assumptions would put me in a place just as low as those that I am trying to degrade as a justification of my frustrations, and I refuse to live my life on that level.
Until next time...
-GS
1 comment:
It's also interesting to think about how this new generation of children are having the rejection coddled right out of them. This notion of "everyone is a winner" doesn't give kids that sense of wanting to be better, to improve. There's no scale. Like you've argued, rejection, as with any loss, can be a challenge to improve the next time, to grow stronger and strive to be the best.
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